Alhamdulillah :)

As I sit here waiting for fajr, I thought that I could share something that happened to me yesterday. See, I was walking to school and while crossing a parking lot, I somehow managed to trip (not slip on ice ironically) and fall, with my face hitting the gravel, leaving me with scrapes all over the right half of my face. My face still looks like I got into a terrible fight, but alhamdulillah that all of my teeth are still intact and that I did not sprain anything!

I managed to get a friend (may Allah SWT bless her for all her help!) who said that she would come  and pick me up. So I waited for her but it was so cold (-8 deg C/18 F) that I decided to try my luck and see if anyone would let me in and wait where it would be much warmer. It just so happened that I fell in the parking lot of a church, and as I pressed the doorbell, I prayed that they would be kind and let me in. A minute passed and an old lady greeted me.

Trying to smile, I asked, "Hi. I just tripped and fell. Do you mind if I come in and wait for my friend to pick me up, since it's so cold outside?"

I must have looked quite a sight, especially with grit and blood on half of my face. I could sense her hesitance and a couple of seconds passed before she finally nodded and let me in, pointing to a bench where I could sit while waiting for my friend.

As I finally entered the church and into the warmth, in my heart I uttered, "Alhamdulillah for small favours."

Siti Syuhada: My Lady of the Martyrs

Over the years, many have asked me about the meaning of my name, and I have always enjoyed telling a mini-story to accompany my response to that question. It was only a couple of years ago that I had found out my first name <Siti> meant <my lady> in Arabic, or a title for a noble woman; I had always taken for granted that it was a common first name for girls in Singapore and never bothered to check what it meant. Imagine how pleased I was to find out that people have been calling me their "Lady" all this while, masha-Allah!

My middle name <Syuhada>, however, gets reactions that lie on a continuum of "amazement" to "awkwardness". In Arabic, <Syuhada> is the plural of <Syahid>, a noun which has two meanings: 1) a witness (to the truth of Islam) 2) a martyr who has sacrificed his life in jihad fi sabilillah, or in striving in the way of Allah. With suicide bombers being the most popular stereotype of Muslim martyrs in the media, it can get rather awkward when I tell people what my middle name means. A stereotype is, as always, a misconstrued concept as the syuhada in Islam comprise many kinds and not just those who die at war, e.g., even mothers who die at childbirth; giving birth is said to be a jihad for the risks a mother takes to bring a child into the world require so much courage that should she die, she deserves a place in heaven just like the warriors who had fought and died for Allah SWT or the early Muslims who refused to renounce their religion and had to die for that, may Allah SWT be pleased with all of them. Many would be surprised to know that seeking knowledge is a form of jihad, or struggle, too. Even then, one can hardly be surprised at the reactions to me being called <my lady of the martyrs>. Once, a Palestinian read my name card and immediately chuckled, asking me if I knew what my name meant; I could only give a wry smile in response and nod knowingly.

I was to have been named <Siti NurJannah>, which would have meant <my lady of the light of heaven>, but my cousin had suggested to my parents to name me after her friend who shares the same birthday as me, hence the current name. While I am grateful for that, alhamdulillah, I do wonder how I would turn out if I had been named something else. Other girls get named after flowers, adjectives of beauty and gentleness etc., and I get such a strong name that would be extremely hard to live up to, for one can only imagine the prestige of being the lady of the martyrs, all of whom have been promised a place in heaven for sacrificing their lives in the way of Allah SWT. Indeed, Allah SWT knows best and may He guide me to live up to my name, ameen.

Alhamdulillah :)

With the 13569th person/stranger commenting that my hijab/headscarf/brooch is so pretty/lovely/beautiful/cute, I am further convinced that there is a demand/market for these things. Now, if only they would ask me about the reason behind wearing one. :)

Assalamu'alaikum :)

Have been wanting to start another blog to chronicle my PhD blues for quite some time now but I figured that this site could also serve another purpose of holding an archive of my published articles and poems, insya-Allah, which would be a great way to keep track of my publications from the past three years.

I sincerely apologize in advance if my writing or poetry offends you, unintentionally or otherwise, for anything good comes from Allah SWT, and anything bad stems from my weaknesses; indeed I am only human. We'll see what Allah SWT has in store for us. :)